Are You Not Delighted?

Happy Friday Friends,

A few weeks back I was listening to a podcast episode on This American Life. The hosts interviewed people who told stories about things that delighted them. Not stories from their childhood, but rather stories from adulthood that filled them with joy and delight. It made me think back to moments in my life when I experienced pure delight…

The first time I went to Disney Land. The first time I walked down the cereal aisle in America. Seeing lions stalking a zebra for the first time. Smelling the ocean on the first day of a beach holiday with my parents. The list goes on when put some time in to think about it.

I couldn’t get the podcast out of my head for a few days. I started to think about recent moments of delight and it seemed like they were far and few between. But, is that really the case? Or, have I forgotten how to find delight? Or, do I take for granted the small things that delight me?

It is obvious that as we get older we have fewer things that delight us. Generally, children feel delighted the first time they experience something. As we get older and add more experiences to our memory banks we have fewer “firsts”. We also become desensitised to life in general. We become more pessimistic.

As adults, we must be able to find moments of delight if we look hard enough. And maybe, just maybe, if we get into the habit of looking hard enough, after a short time it won’t be so hard. Could we turn finding delight into a habit? I was convinced this would be similar to gratitude journaling. For those that aren’t aware of the practice. Gratitude journaling is the simple process of writing down a handful of things each day that you’re grateful for. The theory behind it is when you start to focus on what you have you don’t focus on what you lack. You start to appreciate your life and you move towards a more positive mindset.

I suspected that applying a similar process with daily delights would produce similar outcomes. So, during June, I ran a little experiment. I challenged myself to find one thing that delighted me every single day. And, let me tell you it was a challenge.

For the first week, I had to review the day before I went to sleep each night. I had to force my brain to think back on the day and find something that delighted me. It was not easy. Especially after a long, stressful day the last thing I felt like doing was thinking again. And, even worse trying to think positive thoughts about an overall shitty day. But, that is exactly what this exercise was meant for - to shift my mindset.

I realised I was often going to sleep at night uptight or with my brain full of negative thoughts. I didn’t realise how much I needed this challenge.

Before I give you some of the learnings I took from this experiment, I’d like to share some of my delights.

06/06 - Today I took the ferry to Sydney City as my choice of public transport for the day. Beautiful winter's morning, 20 minutes on the ferry with no headphones or Youtube. Simply watching the boats, birds and ever-rolling wake chasing us down. It was delightful.

08/06 - At lunch, I watched a small pod of humpback whales playing in the open ocean. I am lucky enough to live within walking distance from the cliffs of Sydney’s eastern suburbs. There are often whale sightings but they’re usually far and we don’t stop for long. Today they were close and I watched them breach and cruise paste.

10/06 - Cotton candy making at a carnival. Tonight we took the kids to Vivid Festival at Darling Harbour. My girls got cotton candy. I remember the process of making candy floss (as we call it in South Africa) mesmerised me as a kid. Simple melted sugar and a straw spun around to create a pink, fluffy cloud of deliciousness.

15/06 - Bubbles in the bath. Bathtime with kids quickly becomes a habit, another check box on the bedtime list. But, tonight I put extra bubbles in the bath and sat watching my daughters play and laugh for almost 30 minutes in their “bubble fort”.

23/06 - Roadtripping with mates. Last week I wrote about a trip I did for my birthday with some friends. I drove up the coast with a mate of mine. Nostalgic memories flooded back to me of being in my twenties and often taking road trips with mates. Choosing a playlist and having a great conversation with a good friend is priceless.

30/06 - Ripping the wrapping off gifts. Today was my birthday and this morning I ripped the wrapping paper off my presents like a child. It made me smile the entire day.

These are only a handful but you’ll notice 2 themes. The first is that all the examples above are simple. The second is that many days on my list were things I enjoyed as a kid but take for granted now. Both speak to my point about losing the ability to appreciate the simple things as adults.

After a full month of doing this almost every day (yes I missed a few days) there are definite learnings to take away.

Embrace Everyday Delights

Appreciate the small moments of delight in your daily life. Delight doesn't always have to come from extraordinary experiences. It can be found in simple pleasures, like enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning or watching a beautiful sunset.

Rediscover Childhood Delights

Reconnect with your inner child and reminisce about the things that brought you joy when you were young. Incorporate elements of those childhood delights into your adult life. If you have kids this should be easy, they’ll almost certainly love anything you did as a kid. And, if you don’t, enjoy a simple frolic on the swings in a park or treat yourself to a giant bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles.

Cultivate a Mindset of Wonder

I can’t stress enough how important it is to adopt a mindset of curiosity and wonder as adults. Change your mindset to approach life with a sense of awe and seek out new experiences. “Adults follow paths. Children explore. Adults are content to walk the same way, hundreds of times, or thousands; perhaps it never occurs to adults to step off the paths, to creep beneath rhododendrons, to find the spaces between fences…”Neil Gaiman - The Ocean at the End of the Lane.

Find Delight in Relationships

Relationships play a monumental part in experiencing delight as humans. Many of my notes included my children, wife or friends. Reviewing this month made me want to prioritise spending quality time with loved ones and creating shared experiences that bring joy.

There is a simple power to human connection. Much delight can be found in meaningful conversations, shared laughter, and creating lasting memories.

Find Hobbies

Pursue your passions and engage in activities that bring them joy and fulfilment. All of us need to make time for hobbies or creative outlets. Find activities that allow you to express yourself and tap into your unique talents and interests. I am here to remind you that dedicating time to these pursuits can lead to moments of delight and a greater sense of personal satisfaction.

Peace, love and muscles.

Jazza

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