Be More Present

Happy Friday Friends,

How often are you in the middle of an activity and that’s all you think about? “All the time. What else would I be thinking about?” This is the answer I get when I asked people that question.

I’d like to challenge that. I don’t think we are ever that present in any activity. You almost certainly are not asking yourself if you’re present. Or, conscious about your thoughts.

Next time you’re rinsing dishes and packing the dishwasher, try to be present in your thoughts. I’d bet you think about the day that’s finished or you plan for tomorrow. You most likely process hundreds of other thoughts.

I hear you though, what’s the point of thinking about something as simple as rinsing a dish? Agreed. But, that’s not the point I’m trying to make. My point is that we do this all day, every day. In every waking activity. It’s not even our fault. Our brain is noisy. We have trained it to be that way.

We can’t even focus our thoughts on one, simple activity. We can’t even be present for something as benign as rinsing dishes. How can we then be present for more important activities? How much are we missing out on?

Society has created the expectation that multi-tasking is a skill. A superpower that can make you almost unstoppable. But, being laser-focused on one task at a time means you will complete that task efficiently and with a higher value output.

For this week’s post though, I’d like to push deeper into the value of being present outside of work and to-do lists.

I decided to take a few months off after resigning. One thing I was clear on was that I wanted to make sure I’d get extra time with my daughters. Part of my decision to leave was the fact that I was always thinking about work while I was with them.

Spending more time with my girls was the easy part. I had way more free time in my day that I would dedicate to them. Shimples!Not so simple. Being more present in the extra moments with them was going to take work. 

When I was walking them to school I’d catch myself thinking about interviews later that day. Or, when I got them early from school to take them to the park. I’d catch myself thinking about what I was going to cook for dinner. Usually, I’d run with these thoughts. But, now when I caught myself I directed my full attention back to them, back into the current moment.

I saw my girls laughing at "ladybug poop". I heard them getting lost in the magical world of “school-school”. We think these moments are abundant. The fact is that they are so rare and fleeting it’s heart-breaking to think about how many I’ve already missed. 

Observing my girls also helped me to see how present children are. In almost everything they do. They don’t focus on the past. Last week and even yesterday all sort of blend into one memory. And, the future seems too vast to think about. 

So, they cry, play, laugh and love in the now. Every emotion and experience is for now! It’s beautiful.

Usually, as adults with busy lives, we dwell in the past and the future. We only pay brief visits to the present. We need to completely change that narrative. We are missing out on so many stellar moments.

Dwelling in the past is all about ego. “Could have”, “should have”, “would have”. All those phrases are ego-driven. If you’re thinking about the past and asking those questions, it’s your ego rearing its ugly head. You cannot change what has passed. You can note it and learn from it. I'd encourage that. But, other than that there is no benefit to living there. Take note of when the ego talking and bring yourself back to the present.

Constant planning for the future is anxiety-inducing. So much of the future is out of your control, don’t waste time focusing on it. We obsess about filling our calendars. Meetings, playdates and dinners. It is life on a treadmill. If you only focus on events in the future when do you sit and enjoy the dinner you’re having now? 

Similarly, worry and concern about an event a month from now will not change any of the possible outcomes. The fear of uncertainty our mind creates is worse than the reality of the situation when it happens.

Being present in the moment, really, deeply present in any moment is hard. It takes practice and patience. The value you’ll receive as well as the value you will add will be exponentially higher if you focus on the now.

There is a difference between seeing and observing. There is a difference between watching and noticing. There is a difference between hearing and listening.

I’d like to leave you with a few key thoughts that will help you harness the beauty and power of being present.

• Remove distractions.

• Focus on what’s important and ignore what is irrelevant.

• Set aside opinions, thoughts and judgements to see others more clearly.

• Practice meditation and you will learn to quiet your mind and start to live more in the now.

Peace, love and muscles.

Jazza

Podcast I loved this weekBalaji Srinavasan on The All In PodcastIf you don’t know The All In Podcast, check it out. Imagine if someone gave you the opportunity to sit in a room with 4 crazy smart, millionaire investors. And, you didn’t have to pay for the knowledge you were gaining. The All In Pod gives you that opportunity.

Balaji is a polymath who lives deep in the crypto world. But, it’s a great conversation I highly recommend it.

Article I’m reading this weekThe Future of Money - Matthew Harris (Forbes)Do yourself a favour and start learning about DeFi (decentralised finance) and cryptocurrency. Take some baby steps and read one article a week, or even a month. You’ll thank me. Add this one to the list.

What made me laugh this weekDave Chappelle - The Closer (Netflix)I love standup and Chappelle is arguably the GOAT. Personally, I thought the previous show on this tour was better. But, he’s always a great laugh. An added bonus is that it’s easy to be present when watching comedy.

Sharing Something BeautifulLast week I shared an NFT by an artist named Sabet. I didn’t grab his Space Girl but this week I managed to get my hands on a new one he just released. She is a little different. Not a profile pic (PFP) NFT but rather a piece I will be printing.