Deep in the Trenches

Happy Friday Friends,

This week I want to talk about being alone.Sometimes we are physically alone, with no one around. And, sometimes we feel alone even when there are people around us. The latter feels worse to me because that is usually when we are in most need of connection. Reasons for feeling like this can vary. But, there is usually a common denominator. You feel alone like this almost always when you’re going through a tough time in life. Everyone’s definition of “tough” will be different and, will also change depending on your stage of life.

As we get older some of the issues we had in our teens seem silly. The point is, you still felt the same way - you had moments of feeling very much alone.You may have a supportive family and very close friends who love you. But, If you’re experiencing something they haven't, it can still be very lonely. Sure, they will give you a big hug and tell you all the right things. They may call and check on you from time to time but they aren’t “in it”. They aren’t in the trenches each day.

The ugly truth is, this will never change. It is unfortunate but during your most challenging times, you will be alone. No one knows what you are going through, at that moment, in your head. There is something freeing about that realisation though. Manage your own expectations that you will often need to deal with situations on your own. You will need to process your thoughts and feelings and come to terms with them. You’re building mental resilience and life experiences which are vital for personal growth.

Challenging days can be like going into battle. It will be fucking hard; blood, sweat and tears. So what are some things you can do for your body and mind? Prepare yourself for the fight ahead. Arm yourself with the weapons to give yourself a fighting chance.

Leverage Nice HumansYou can leverage the people in your life who want to be there for you. Count yourself lucky if you have a support network. Take advantage of those special humans and let them support you in their way. Don’t expect them to solve your situation, they can’t. Be content with letting them fulfil a support role only.

Control Your MindMindfulness and meditation are powerful. I’ve written about these before if you’d like a refresher. You are going to spend time alone with yourself. It is important that you know how to turn down the volume of your inner voice. A lot of dealing with pain or hard times is the processing. Thinking, thinking, thinking - it’ll drive you bananas. Do some guided meditation to free yourself from the noise even for a short while.

Get an Endorphin Hit Go out for a walk. Go to the gym. Do a yoga class.When we do any type of physical activity, even if we don’t enjoy it at the moment, our bodies will release endorphins. Endorphins are your body’s pick-me-up drug. You will feel better after doing any sort of activity. Another upside of doing a high-intensity activity is that the activity itself will distract you. You can focus on the next rep or breath and forget about what is bringing you down.

Build a RoutineHaving a routine may sound counterintuitive. And, it's also extremely difficult when you can't even get out of bed. On days when you’re ok and can face the world, going for the walk or getting important tasks done are “easy”. It’s the days when you can’t seem to do anything that a routine becomes essential. A routine will get you out of bed, it will help you stick to a meditation practice and stay active.

My morning routine is simple and it’s become my superpower. Wake up, go for a walk. Sit on the cliffs above the ocean and meditate for 15 minutes. Get some sun on my face early. And, go for a cold swim. Start simple and find a routine that works for you.

Be Kind to YourselfThis one is a little woo-woo. Sitting in an awkwardly clean, yet homely room with a psychologist comes to mind when I think of this phrase. This bit of advice is the hardest one for me. I have a lot of weapons in my arsenal for going into the warzone. I’ve studied and honed them over the years. It’s why I can confidently write about this topic. So, when I am down and can’t get up I am very hard on myself. I often “give myself a stern talking to”. But, in reality, that doesn’t help anything. I’ve realised I need to let myself feel what I’m feeling. Don’t force it. Follow a few simple, although not easy guidelines and I will be prepared.

Following a few of these guidelines is all you need to do to be kind to yourself.

I’m gonna leave you with some wise words from a very famous bear.

Peace, love and muscles.Jazza

A Bit of NewsWorld’s first living robots can now reproduce - CNN WorldI love the future and I am always excited for change but this!! WTF! Read the article it will scare the living daylights out of you.A Bit of KnowledgeElon Musk Uses “85 Percent Rule” to Help Increase Productivity - Inc.comIf you haven’t heard of the 85 Percent Rule then add this to your reading list for the weekend. Even if you have, anything from Elon is worth re-reading. I love productivity hacks and principle thinking.A Bit of Stoicism”Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’”

A Bit of Beauty