GET OFF THE STAGE!

Happy Friday Friends,

Have you noticed that we judge ourselves more harshly than we would judge others in the same situation? Why are we our own harshest critics?

Let’s imagine you’re a standup comedian. Imagine you’re going to step out on stage in one of those small, dingy comedy clubs. You know the ones; there’s still an invisible layer of smoke just above everyone’s heads even though no one has smoked in there for over a decade. Cute little lamps on tiny 2-person tables dimly light the room in patches.

You walk out and the crowd cheers. You take a sip of water sitting on the ever-versatile bar stool/drink stand. You start the show. It starts ok but after every punchline, you get heckled. It’s non-stop. Eventually, you stop the show. 

You ask the stage manager to shift the spotlight to the heckler so you can see who’s being such a douche. When you look out to the audience you see the face in the spotlight is yours. Sound like a nightmare? I’m sure it does, yet it’s an almost daily reality for every single one of us. 

Often in life, we are petrified about what others think or say about us. But, the harshest judgement we subject ourselves to comes from within. It’s like being a stand-up comedian that never leaves the stage at the Inner Critic Comedy Club.

Can’t we all just hug our inner critic and call it a day, or is there something deeper going on? Strap in; it's time for a mental rollercoaster!

Meet the Trio Inside You

Shazza - The Bestie Party Gal: "You're Amazing!"Let's start with Shazza. She’s the drunk Hen’s Night party gal howling after every punchline. She’s always optimistic. She lives for now and isn’t worried about what happened yesterday or what could happen tomorrow. She's the one cheering you on, saying, "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself! You're incredible, talented, and don't you forget it!". Shazza wants you to love yourself, embrace your achievements, and remember that a bit of self-compassion can go a long way. 

Nige - The Heckler: "Could Do Better"If Shazza is the Hen’s Night party gal, Nige is the heckler in the front row who shakes his head every time you say F***K.Now, let's turn to Negative Nige. He’s that nagging voice that says, "That was average, surely you could have done better?" Nige is all about pushing the envelope, scrutinising the flaws, and never settling for mediocrity. He is serious, nostalgic and never satisfied with what you’ve achieved. Nige doesn’t care how many laughs your last joke got.

The Switzerland Friend: "Let's Find a Middle Ground"Last but not least, meet Switzerland. She’s the level-headed friend that gets stuck mediating between Shazza & Nige at 2 am during a late-night gas station run. The Negotiator sees the value in both self-love and self-improvement. It's not about extremes; it's about finding that sweet spot where growth and compassion coexist.

Life isn't as simple as good or bad, positive or negative. It's a group party, a delicate balance. So how do we include our inner trio so everyone’s still talking the morning after?

Be Your CriticRecognise your flaws, and understand where you can improve, but don't whip yourself into a self-loathing frenzy. There's a fine line between constructive criticism and an inner monologue that sounds like a Twitter feud. 

Be Your CheerleaderCelebrate your wins - the big ones and, especially small ones. Give yourself a pat on the back or even an actual high-five. Recognise your progress, your effort, and the entire journey.

Find the BalanceTune into all your inner selves. Listen, learn, and find that perfect equilibrium that allows for growth and self-compassion. Find a path forward that doesn't involve anyone getting kicked out of the club.

Next time you find yourself judging your actions, remember the trio inside you. Engage with them, argue with them, and maybe even share a pie. The path to self-understanding is a winding road filled with good jokes, big laughs, and the occasional spilt cocktail. 

Be your critic, but also your cheerleader. Evaluate your performance with honesty, but don't forget to acknowledge your efforts and successes. Find the balance that allows you to grow and thrive, maintaining both a critical eye and a compassionate heart. 

The path to self-improvement is not linear, and sometimes, a bit of kindness towards oneself is the fuel needed to continue the journey.

Peace, love and muscles.

Jazza

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