I Want to Live in the Grey

Happy Sunday Friends,

You’d have to have been living under a rock not to notice the recent turbulence in U.S. politics. While I’m not political, I appreciate living in Australia, where the major parties aren’t that different, and their policies don’t significantly impact my day-to-day life in the short term.

Speaking with friends in the U.S. during the elections, I found myself fascinated by the psychology unfolding there. My friends span the spectrum—from “MAGA” supporters to those who believe Trump is unfit for office. It was intriguing to hear passionate arguments from both sides without inserting my perspective. Each is convinced of their rightness and the other’s wrongness.

One comment from a friend stuck with me:

“Some of the guys have stopped talking to me. They think because of who I’m voting for, we can’t be friends.” It makes me sad to see personal relationships harmed over political choices. Regardless of where you stand, we can all agree that the US has never been so divided.

Isn’t it ironic that the role of government is to govern—to bring people together to build a better nation? Yet, this becomes impossible when the rhetoric (amplified by mainstream media) is combative and rooted in hatred. Instead of focusing on what each party can offer, campaigns often focus on personal attacks. This strategy definitely contributed to Trump completing a clean sweep.

I’ve also enjoyed discussing U.S. politics at family dinners—to my wife's dismay. But as Australians, we’re removed enough to have these debates without them becoming divisive. What I’ve noticed, though, is that people tend to judge your entire character based on a single data point. If I say I'd vote Democrat, then they assume all my other beliefs fit into a specific "Democrat box".

This leads me to today's newsletter topic.

It seems we’ve reached a point where holding conflicting ideas is unacceptable or impossible. Society demands binary viewpoints—you must pick a side.
But life isn’t that simple.
For example, I can think that Trump is a douche yet believe some of his policies have and will not only benefit the US but the world.

Mainstream and social media worsen this divide.
Polarised content gets far more engagement; the middle ground is dull. I’ve tested this myself—even on professional platforms like LinkedIn, a strong stance gets more interaction than a neutral post. I have to pick a side, or I’m boring.

The internet has created an epidemic of certainty! Everybody knows stuff right now. We “know” things for certain about people, places, and topics we’ve never experienced first-hand. We live in a world where everyone is on a team and has a specific worldview. 

I think it’s much braver to say, “I’m not sure where I sit,” or, “I don’t know all the information on a topic.” Specific worldviews and belonging to one team give us certainty.

And here’s the crux of my frustration: 98% of life isn’t binary.
And opinions aren’t facts.
They’re subjective and can’t be all right or all wrong. Even scientific data evolves. Over the past few decades, science has revised its positions as new discoveries emerge. If life is nuanced and complex, why do we insist on categorising everything into neat boxes?

The answer lies in our discomfort with uncertainty.
Humans crave definitives—we prefer black and white because grey areas make planning difficult. From the moment we start school, we’re taught that exam answers are right or wrong. Religion often follows a similar pattern, leaving little space for middle ground.

This tendency toward binary thinking isn’t new; history is littered with examples of how it can escalate tensions and slow progress.
Take the Cold War era, for instance. The world was divided into two camps—the capitalist West led by the United States and the communist East led by the Soviet Union. This “us vs. them” mentality escalated tensions to the brink of nuclear war. The world only avoided a catastrophic outcome through diplomacy and acknowledged mutual interests.

Psychologically, our brains are wired to simplify complex information—cognitive biases. One such bias is the false dilemma fallacy, where we see situations in black and white, ignoring the possibilities in between. 
This black-and-white thinking limits our ability to appreciate nuance.

When I look around, I see nuances everywhere. 
Nature isn’t coded in binary—it’s a full spectrum of experiences and influences, each shaping unique paths in unpredictable ways.

I often understand and share some opposing viewpoints when engaging in debates. I'm confident most people are similar. It’s what makes life and relationships interesting. 

I want to live life in the grey—the uncertain, unplanned, undefined, and often weird middle. It’s a better place to be.

Embracing complexity doesn’t weaken us; it enriches our understanding and connects us more deeply with others.
Life isn’t a series of binary choices. It is a tapestry of experiences and perspectives. 

By resisting the urge to simplify everything into black and white, we open ourselves up to deeper understanding and more meaningful connections. 

So, I leave you with this: 
The next time you’re faced with a choice that seems black or white, will you pick a side or choose to live in the grey?

Peace, love and growth,

Jazza

PS - Thank you for reading my newsletter. I hope it makes you think a little differently and you come away with a lesson you can use.
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