I'm Not Stressed, You're Stressed

I’m only 8 weeks into this CEO thing. But, as is standard with joining any startup, the weeks feel like months and months feel like years.

It is still early days but I can safely say the honeymoon is over. That doesn’t mean things are bad, not at all. I am motivated every single morning when I wake up. I look forward to facing the challenges and fighting the fires that each day brings.I mean that the excitement of the role has faded and things are very real now. I am leading a startup which comes with a bunch of potential stresses. I am adulting VERY hard and levelling up every day.

From experience, working in startups and running a department is always a little stressful. But, this situation is different. All the worries of your leaders become yours as well. Plus the bigger worries like revenue, cash flow, hiring, growth, investors, and competitors. The list is close to endless.

I was speaking to a friend of mine earlier in the week. He asked how things were going and we had a chat about some challenges I am facing, and we are facing. Halfway through he said; “You seem to be taking this all in your stride. How are you remaining calm?” This echoes similar comments I’ve received from friends and family like “are you stressed?” or “Are you having sleepless nights?”

It was then that I realised that I wasn’t having too many sleepless nights. And, putting more thought into it I wasn’t too stressed. I am putting in more hours and solving more important problems but I don't feel more stressed.

The answer I gave my friend was simple. I try to be stoic about things. If I go to sleep each night and know that I have done everything I can for that day.And, at the end of each week, I know that I’ve done everything I can that week then that’s all I can do. Raising my stress levels and not sleeping will not do more than I am already doing.

In fact, it would do the opposite. If I lose sleep, my ability to maintain a level head and problem-solve would decline. If I started each day in a space of heightened stress it would only get in the way of making good decisions.I am convinced that stress and anxiety are inversely proportionate to performance.

Well done me. I can hear you asking what tools I use to keep calm. The honest answer is I don’t have specific tools. I am sure it’s a compounding of small habits and mindsets I’ve been building over the years.I want to add some value and give you something for taking the time to read and support my blog. So I’ve listed a few tools you may find helpful.

MeditationI fall off this horse often. It’s the one practice I find the most challenging to be consistent at. Probably because you don’t notice the rewards from all the effort until you stop. It is important to have the ability to turn off your brain. More specifically, to have the ability to focus on what you want to focus on and ignore the noise.

For me, the noise comes at weird hours of the night. Like when my dog sneezes, which wakes me and my brain goes from 0-100 quicker than a Bugatti.

When I am out of practice, falling back to sleep is a real struggle. Sometimes I'll throw on some Yoga Nidra for sleep. These guided meditations are amazing if you've slacked off in your meditation practice.

Be StoicI have been reading Stoicism for a few years now. I am not a big fan of philosophy and don’t read or study any other philosophers outside of the Stoics. Stoicism for me is about dealing with the reality of life. Accepting things as they are. Acknowledging what is in your control and what isn’t. Then focusing only on what you can control. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius can be tough going so don't start there. But, Ryan Holiday has some excellent books on “translating” Stoicism for today that is worth reading.

Force Yourself to Switch OffIt’s hard to switch off. It’s hard not to open my laptop every night after dinner and turn 30 minutes of email reading into 2 hours of deep work. But, I know it’s way more important that I give my brain some downtime. It’s also way more important that I spend some time with my wife and hear about her day.

I’m not saying don’t work evenings. Work at whatever time suits you. I’m saying, it’s ok to turn it off. It’s ok to go to the gym, take a walk, or wander around the shops aimlessly.

It's ok to not focus every ounce of energy on your work. Anything that gives you and your brain a break will do you wonders.

JournalJournalling is a practice I’d put in the same basket as meditation. It seems a bit airy-fairy, it takes a lot of practice and you won’t notice the benefits until you stop doing it. Think about a daily journal (or twice if you can) as a way to purge all the chaos from the day out of your head.

During the course of a day, you start and complete handfuls of tasks. You process terabytes much information. And, you need to make hundreds of decisions. When it comes evening time all that information is taking up space in your subconscious.

Get it out of your head and onto a page.The process is calming, it will help you process complex decisions and, it will help you settle your monkey mind before sleep time.

WalkSometimes you need to get away from your desk, laptop and phone. Get outside, and get some sun or fresh air. You’ll find that while you’re walking your mind is still running. But, it’s not focused on any one task it will be processing and “filing” your ideas and thoughts. I often find while on a long walk I come up with solutions to problems I’ve been thinking about for days.

The most important benefit you’ll get from walking is stepping away from tech and screens.

You’re Not AloneThe last point but certainly not the least is realising you’re not alone. Find a mentor or reach out to other tech CEOs. I can assure you they’re either in the same boat or have been through what you are going through.

You can also surround yourself with smart, caring friends which is something I am lucky to have. Not all have been through what I’m experiencing but that is not important. I don’t need someone to solve my problems for me. I need someone to just listen. Knowing you have someone there to talk to will be a relief in itself.

Ex-Manchester United Manager, Alex Ferguson had a saying. When his teams were going into a final, or end-of-season fight to the finish he’d tell the team “It’s squeaky bum time lads.” It meant that shit is about to get real and it was time to perform.

It seems like every week as a startup CEO is squeaky bum time. Which is stressful as f@#%! But I'm not sure I'd change much. I am grateful for the opportunity and I become more resilient every day.

If you’re leading a team, department or company and shit is hitting the fan and you don’t have a network please reach out. I’d love to connect and compare notes. My DMs are always open.

Peace, love and muscles.

JarrenThe Beginner CEO

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