Our Darkest Emotion

Happy Friday Friends,

I hated school!I hated the bullies who teased me!I hated the girl who broke my heart!I hate admin!I hate Marmite!I hate traffic!

How many times in a week do you think you say you hate something? At least a handful of times a day. Be honest! I hear my kids say it all the time. We can direct hate at almost anything. We’re consistent with the inconsistent labelling of objects and scenarios in our lives with hate.

We use it as a throw-away phrase without even thinking about what it means. When it comes it innate objects or scenarios it doesn’t seem to be a big deal. Who doesn’t hate traffic? Right?

But, at its core hate is an emotion and a powerful one.

Hate is an emotion as destructive as poison and has the power to consume and destroy. It can pollute your spirit and relationships. It can cause harm to both you and those around you. Whether directed outward or inward, hate drains the soul, darkens days, and can lead to dangerous actions.

When we direct hate towards others, it becomes a dangerous force. It can motivate violent behaviour and destructive acts. Blaming others for perceived wrongs or victimisation can fuel hatred, leading to tragic consequences. But, the key to overcoming hate lies in letting go of anger and blame.

Because hate is a strong emotion it takes a lot of energy and brain capacity. The question we then should be asking is, does this situation warrant the brain space we are giving it?

We are also not born to hate. We don't know how to hate when we're young. If you put two kids together from completely different backgrounds by instinct they would play. We're taught to hate. All preconceived notions or judgements we have of people are based on what our parents and society have taught us.We hear our parents saying they hate some food or they hate the presenter on a TV.

There is one worse scenario - we're taught to hate. We can be taught to hate people simply because they have a different religion or skin colour.

Understanding HateThe definition of hate captures both the emotional intensity of the feeling and its potential origins in fear and anger. As a verb, "hate" describes the act of feeling an intense dislike towards someone or something. The term is often associated with deep, long-lasting feelings that can be more consuming than mere dislike.

Hate though is different from other negative emotions like anger and fear. Anger and fear are primal, we’re born with those emotions as survival mechanisms. But, hate as I mentioned before is not born but bred.Sigmund Freud defines hate as stemming from ego or aggression. He saw hate as a result of social conditioning.

The Brain on HateThere are studies using fMRI scans, which show how hate can affect areas of the brain associated with judgment, decision-making, and emotion.

When we choose to hate something or someone we must know that this emotion clouds any rational thinking. We make quick judgements and do not allow ourselves the time needed to think about all the information available.

The Impact of HateHate takes a heavy toll on us as humans. There are psychological and physical effects of harbouring hate, such as increased stress or a negative impact on mental health. There are studies linking prolonged feelings of hate to health issues like heart disease or psychological disorders.

When hatred is directed at you it can be deeply unsettling and emotionally scarring. It can have an explosive impact and destructive energy. Hatred uses intense hostility, fear, or anger as its trigger. Faced with such negativity, you have a choice: stoop to the level of the hater or rise above. You can recognise their behaviour as a flaw in them, not you.

Minimise contact with those towards whom you feel hatred, and distract yourself with other activities to refocus your mind.When hateful thoughts arise, pause and take deep breaths to calm yourself. Challenge and replace irrational thoughts with rational ones. Tell yourself, “not helpful!”

Today, I want you to ask yourself these questions:

• Does hate have a place in my life?

• Do I harbour any feelings of hatred toward myself or anyone else?

If you do, I beg you to address this negative feeling before it becomes something much more dangerous. Hate, when left unchecked, will drain your spirit, tarnish your soul and darken your days.

There seems to be a lot of hatred around the world right now. It’s like a tornado, the more debris of human hate it picks up the bigger and stronger it grows. It also may seem like it’s not headed in your direction but, like a tornado is unpredictable and can expand and change direction in mere moments.

In my 41 years on this planet, I have not yet seen hatred at the scale I’ve seen in the last few weeks.

Hate is a destructive emotion that can harm both the hater and the target. By letting go of anger and choosing peace over retaliation, we can break free from the grip of hate and nurture a more positive life.

Peace, love and muscles.

Jazza

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