The Tragedy Lies in Having no Goal to Reach

Happy Friday Friends,

I have always avoided goals. Partly because I am driven and dedicated; if I decide to do something, generally I do it. If I want to put weight on in the gym, I’ll eat more and train harder. Sometimes I get to where I envisioned I wanted to be, sometimes I don’t.

If I’m being honest with myself (and you), I have to admit that a big part of avoiding goals is that I’m too scared to commit. What if I don’t achieve them? I don’t need that disappointment in my life. Or do I?

In my work life, I have never set personal goals for myself either. I want to get better every single day. I am not a person who gets complacent. I’m the polar opposite. So I thought I didn’t need goals.

It’s strange, I’ve set goals for my company and my teams. I’ve helped them set up the systems and processes needed to get there. So I know how to structure it but I’ve never done it for myself. I wrote a post a few weeks back on motivation and how mine is low at the moment. One of the points I raised was that the lack of a north star, or goal can decrease your motivation. So maybe I need to start taking my advice.

Recently I’ve been studying a few successful humans and one common theme they all talk about is having goals. They are clear and precise about those goals. Then, they’re laser-focused to achieve them.

So, I reached out to some friends and a few readers and asked them their thoughts on goals. The responses, as I am sure you could guess, are mixed. There were no on-the-fence sitters though. It was either “I love goals” or “I hate goals”. Both camps make some pretty good arguments. I’m gonna list a few for you today and unpack these points in the hope of finding clarity towards the end.

Goals Are a Trap!Some people felt like the optimism around personal goal-setting quickly wore off. Often, goals become chains that bind us, creating a constant cycle of stress, inadequacy, and disappointment. There’s also the Stoic line of thinking that goals encourage a future-focused mindset and detract from living in the present. A few mentioned that some people get too obsessed with their goals. And, this then overshadows other aspects of life like relationships. With goals, we risk becoming performance-driven and may lose sight of the important small things on the sides of the road.

Goals, Goals and More Goals Baby!A mate said; "There's a reason personal goal setting has been around forever —it works." Hard to argue with that, but it's true. From both a psychological and practical perspective, setting goals helps us clarify our vision and focus our energy. They provide structure and purpose, breaking down complex aspirations into manageable tasks.

Goals are a self-driven motivator that can instil a sense of achievement and provide a framework for continuous improvement.

Goal setting enables us to measure progress, overcome procrastination, and put us in the driver's seat of our own lives.

Both sides make valid points. I’ve jumped from side to side for most of my life. But, now looking back with a critical eye and studying deeper on the topic I am going to stay in the pro-goals camp for a while. I see more positives than negatives. I’ll flesh a few out to help you choose your side of the fence.

The Goal is Not The Reward! Life experience has trained us with the carrot and stick model. If you hit your goals, you get the juicy carrot and if you don’t, well you could get the stick. I am completely against this model of goal setting. But, only because if you focus on the goal as the reward then you’re setting yourself up to be unhappy. If you achieve the goal you’ll be happy for a day, maybe a week then what? And, if you don’t hit your goal, well that’s obvious - misery.The alternative to that model is using the goal as a guiding star and choosing to see the experience gained as the real carrot.

Short-term Every Time Where goal setting can fall flat is when we try and set goals too far into the future. Most of us can’t predict where we’ll be in 3 months let alone 3 years. Those “5-year plans” are a complete waste of time. There are outliers, the 0.01% that can track goals over that length of time. You're not one of them!

Set 3-6 month goals to begin with. You will ensure they stay top of mind and you’ll also set way more realistic ones in that time. In the beginning, hitting some of your targets will make you feel great about setting bigger ones down the line.

Simple is Always Better Don’t overcomplicate things. Choose 1 goal in 1 area of your life and try and get there. Make the goal crystal clear and tangible. You should have 3-5 bullet points under that goal with the daily steps you need to take to get there. Be focused and set aside time every day to progress along the stepping stones. Don’t spend too much time contemplating the goal and what you need to do. If it’s taking you more than an hour you aren’t clear on what you want AND it’s too complex.

Get Started! That’s it, that’s the advice. Stop cocking around and take action! Now!

Good luck and please reach out if you need some help with goal setting or someone to hold you accountable.

I’ve recently set myself 4 big goals to achieve by December 31st - we can keep each other motivated.

Peace, love and muscles.Jarren

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