Time is Running Out

I must be getting old. I don’t feel older than I did at say 35 but I’m starting to think older thoughts.

I’ve been contemplating where I’m headed in my life and what life is lately. It sounds cliched but I guess when you get into your 40s you start to think about these things. Or so I’ve heard. It’s pretty crazy how quickly it happened. It feels like one day I didn’t give a shit about tomorrow and then suddenly, I’m contemplating meaning and the “rest of my life”. As if it’s around the corner. In fact, I could argue I am fitter and healthier than I was 10 years ago. I have more financial and personal stability than I did 10 years ago. So what is causing this influx of thinking?

It’s this weird nagging feeling in my head that I am not where I thought I would be at this stage of my life. So I play devil’s advocate with myself.

Me: I haven’t achieved enough. This isn’t where I thought I’d be at 40. Other Me: Well, where did you think you’d be Negative Nancy? Me: Hmmm… I don’t actually know.

There is a small part of me that thought I’d have some big flashy job, live in a big house, drive at least one fast car and dress only in Hugo Boss. I know that is only my ego talking because 95% of the above wouldn’t keep me happy. What else would I picture? Well, have a loving family, go on amazing holidays every year, and be stronger and wiser. I then realise that I have all these things. So then have I reached where I thought I’d be? It doesn’t sound too far off. Then why do I still have this nagging feeling there must be something else? Some days it takes a lot of self-talk to calm the anxiety of those feelings. Feelings that I haven’t achieved enough. Feelings that I could do more. Asking myself what more could I do.

I recently finished a superb book called 4000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. The crazy thing is I added it to my Audible list completely by mistake. And, then they wouldn’t let me refund it. So I listened. It felt like I’d found $50 in my jeans pocket and was timely to my recent line of thinking.

I’ve pulled out 5 excerpts from the book that resonated with me. There are great learnings to be had.

Embrace the inevitability of time's passing "The paradox of time is that the more we try to control it, the more it seems to slip away from us."

Burkeman emphasizes the fact that time is a finite resource and that we all have a limited number of weeks in our lives. Around 4000 to be more precise. He encourages readers to accept this reality and use it as motivation to make the most of their time. The Stoics have been talking about this for centuries. Momento Mori - Remember Death.

Accept that time is going to pass whether you like it or not. Accept that our end could be tomorrow or in 100 years but it’s coming. There is no point in focusing on how much time you have and how you can “optimise” it. That in itself is a waste of time. Make sure that your use of time is meaningful.

Emphasise meaning over productivity "We tend to assume that success means maximizing the amount we get done, rather than maximizing the amount of meaning, purpose, and joy we get out of life."

The book challenges the notion that productivity is the ultimate goal in life. We should focus on what truly matters to us. We should focus on finding meaning in what we do. We may have to sacrifice productivity and trying to fill our calendar 18 out of 24 hours a day. Many of us measure our successful days by how productive they are. And, productivity is usually measured by how much we can squeeze into slots of time. Rather, focus on getting the most out of a select few, quality tasks.

What you do is part of who you are "The idea of work-life balance suggests that work and life are two separate things, but in reality, they're deeply intertwined. It's not about balance; it's about integration."

The key is to be intentional and thoughtful about how we integrate work into the rest of our lives rather than seeing it as something that needs to be balanced against our personal lives. By reframing the relationship between work and “life” we can create a more holistic and fulfilling approach to our daily routines. One that honours our need for both purposeful work and meaningful personal lives.

Embrace uncertainty "Certainty is an illusion, and it can be dangerous to rely on it,"

Burkeman argues that our desire for certainty and control can often be a source of anxiety and stress. He encourages readers to embrace uncertainty and recognise that the future is always uncertain. Again, I also look to the Stoics, they talk about Amore Fati - love of fate. We can’t control everything that happens to us but we can control how we respond to what happens to us. Embrace all that fate brings into your life and then make those moments meaningful. Both the good and the bad.

Prioritise relationships "People matter more than productivity."

The book emphasizes the importance of relationships and human connection in our lives. Burkeman argues that our relationships with others are a key source of meaning and happiness. If you take 15 minutes to sit back and think about the last 12 months (no need to go further back for now). You’ll notice all your happiest moments. All your most meaningful learnings. All the moments that are worth remembering will involve one or more people. It’s pretty simple. Humans, in general, are social creatures. We get the most joy from creating memories with people in our lives. Invest time and energy in your relationships. Whether they’re work or personal relationships. You will get more by focusing on those than on prioritising your time for people like they are tasks to be completed.

We are so preoccupied with trying to cram as much as possible into our short lives and before we know it it’s gone. There is an argument to be made that by trying to achieve more. And more. And more. More to-do lists. More projects. More places to visit. More restaurants to eat at. More experiences to have. That we are rarely ever present to enjoy our lives fully. We’re desperately grasping for time so we can fill it with stuff but we’re missing out on what’s important right here and now.

So let's make sure we make the most of our time by doing what we love, finding meaning in what we do, and cherishing the relationships that matter to us.

Peace, love and muscles.

Jazza